1-800-What is this guy talking about???

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1-800-What is this guy talking about???

Well...it's back to life, back to reality. I arrived at work at 7:15 am. I'm not due @ work until 8am. This was after I stopped at Starbucks to buy some time. I sat in the car listening to Maxwell's Embrya album (throwback) until the heat forced me out of the car. It's 7am and already 80 degrees. ugghhh. I gather my things and walk into the building only to realize I do not have my badge. uggghhh (2x). I get on the elevator and luckily my co-worker was at the door. My allergies were immediately in overload because the temperature dropped drastically. I hope I don't get a cold. 

So now I grab my sweater sip my coffee and plan on having a quiet moment when some guy I've never met walks into the break room singing. I smile and say good morning. You would have thought I said "Welcome to my office of psychotherapy, your appointment is scheduled for a half -hour". I note his upbeat mood (the singing) he tells me that life is all about being happy and loving yourself because if you don't you cant love anybody else. In my mind I'm thinking what does this have to do with being at work this morning. He then proceeds to tell me that I love myself because of the way I dress (I've never seen this guy). He then starts a monologue lasting about 20 minutes, blah blah blah blah blah.. I maybe said three sentences throughout the whole interaction. So I would like to address him now if that's OK.

Dear Mr. Creepy Guy with the Silk Shirt,

I appreciate your invitation to coffee this morning. However, a part of me wants to know if you even noticed the Starbucks coffee cup in my hand. I salute you on being a father. However, I did not ask. No need in living in the past. Father's Day was yesterday. It amazes me how you bring up such personal affairs when you don't even know my name. I can assure you "sweety-pie" and "love" is not it. Ok perhaps it was my fault for not wearing my badge. Well, trust me, I won't make that mistake again.

I have to ask, do I look like an apartment manager? Because, in my eyes you revealing your living arrangements held no relevance in your monologue. Perhaps, I didn't walk away quickly enough. Oh, yes I did, but you followed me. Sorry for turning my back on you, logging on to my computer, and reading last week's already read emails. Well, you're gone now. Thank you for reminding why I should never come to work early or say good morning.

Sincerely,

You Will Never Know My Name (unless you look it up in Outlook)