Confidence vs. Conceit

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Confidence vs. Conceit

As ladies, we have all either been judged or passed judgement on another. That is the bottom line. At the same time these judgements may not all be negative. Its the moment when you see another woman wearing a "bad" pair of heels and you think "they look good on her...". However, it turns negative when that same statement turns into "they look good on her, but they would look much better on me" or "what is wrong with her hair" and my favorite "Step your game up". We've all had those moments. However, the problem lies when the latter statements become the way that you see life.

Its the difference between confidence and conceit.

Confidence: the quality or state of being certain.

Conceit: excessive appreciation of one's own worth or virtue.

Me and a very good friend of mine were talking some time ago. He asked me why I was so particular about how I appeared when going out in public. For instance, combing my hair, changing my clothes, and putting on a light layer of make-up just to run to the corner store. After years of observing this to be my normal behavior, his conclusion was that I was conceited. He even went as far as to say I turned my nose up and scoffed at others who did not do the same. I argued at that time, that any woman with self confidence/esteem would dare not go into public looking anything but decent. I explained to him that I was just confident.

However, now looking back, I did have some conceited traits. I am not proud of them but I have grown more aware of them. You never want to be described by someone as being conceited. At the same time, you definitely do not want to be in a place where you have NO self-confidence. So what do you do? You Re-evaluate yourself, before someone else does.

Ill never forget how he described me at that time: "You think you do things better than most people, and you might, but people don't like to be outshone just because. And in your heart you know that appearances do not really matter, yet you tend to alienate people with your over the top drive to always look and dress the best. If a person is not up to your standards, which are sometimes unrealistic, you pay them no attention or talk about them.To know you is to love you. But how many people will really get to know you with that attitude?"

Boy was that a tough pill to swallow, coming from someone you know, knows you, and most importantly when you know it's true.

So I challenge you to do what I did ladies: Re-evaluate yourself and gain a healthy level of self confidence. Do not change who you are and what you do, just learn to accept that your way of acting and thinking is not every one's. In the end, making the change will help to eliminate conceit and negative judgements towards others.